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Brassica oleracea - Damage Alert

Subject: Brassica oleracea - Damage Alert
From: David Evans
Date: Dec 22 1999 19:51:37
UK Tree Care - http://www.oak-wood.co.uk/uktc/

Research, published today, into the toxicology of Brussels Sprouts 
(Brassica oleracea) has established they commonly cause the following 
adverse reactions in hapless members of the public who are foolhardy enough 
to consume them.  Irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, headaches, lethargy, 
eczema, flatulence, nausea, torpor, gastric dysfunction, wind, halitosis, 
vegephobia, mange, distemper, selective delignification, Tourette's 
syndrome, and eventual insanity.  OK, so maybe I made up the last five. 
 The most frequent combination of symptoms endured by the host are very 
similar to those experienced when hungover - the classic 'it must have been 
something I ate' defence.  Although such reactions are common to nearly 20% 
of the population, it is thought that the other 80% must be lying, revel in 
the aforementioned disorders, or be so afflicted that their judgement is 
subsequently impaired.  Beelzebub's Brassica is undoubtedly an evil 
vegetable, as is evident by the fact that they smell and taste as though 
they've already been previously digested.  You have been warned.

Cheers

Acer ventura


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