UKTC Archive

RE: "letters to the council"

Subject: RE: "letters to the council"
From: Mark Wadey
Date: Dec 06 2000 11:55:01
 <<FW Letters to the Council.txt>> 
Brian Try this. You should be able to just double click
Mark

----------
From:
b.ogden@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.gov.uk[SMTP:b.ogden@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.gov.uk]
Reply To:     UK Tree Care
Sent:         06 December 2000 11:45
To:   UK Tree Care
Subject:      RE: "Arb method statements"

This did not have a file attatchment, can you please try it again, as it
sounded like a good one.   


Mucho gracias


Brian Ogden
Principal Arboricultural Officer
Peterborough City Council
Bayard Place
Broadway
PETERBOROUGH
PE1 1HZ

tel:742532
e-mail - brian.ogden@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.gov.uk

-----Original Message-----
From:       Mark Wadey [SMTP:mark.wadey@xxxxxx.gov.uk]
Sent:       Wednesday, December 06, 2000 11:36 AM
To: UK Tree Care
Subject:    RE: "Arb method statements"


This is one for the Local Authority guys, although I am sure most of you
will appreciate them.

  <<FW Letters to the Council.txt>>  

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Any view or opinions presented are solely those of the author 
and do not necessarily represent those of the 'Borough of Poole'
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 << File: FW Letters to the Council.txt >>  << File: ATT02527.txt >> 


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*******************************************************  
This email and any files transmitted with it may be confidential, 
legally privileged and protected in law and are intended solely 
for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. 
Any view or opinions presented are solely those of the author 
and do not necessarily represent those of the 'Borough of Poole'
or any of its individual departments. 
Whilst the council does not pro-actively monitor electronic mail, it
reserves the right to inspect outgoing emails from the council system. 
If you have received this Email in error please contact the sender 
by return and confirm that its contents have been destroyed. 
Telephone enquiries should be directed to the Borough switchboard 
on 01202 XXXXXX.
******************************************************* 




 
These tickled me a lot and are apparently authentic, but be warned they are 
quite rude!

These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and housing 
associations throughout the UK:



I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob 
off.


I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his 
foot in the hole in his back passage ..... and their 18 year old son is 
continually banging his balls against my fence.


I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think 
it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.


My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.


I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.


Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and 
fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in 
September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.


I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.


50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain 
filthy.


I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.


The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.


Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not 
fit to drink.


Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.


Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am  an old age pensioner 
and need it badly.


I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his 
cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.


The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly 
and dangerous.


Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so 
please send someone round to do something about it.


I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do 
something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.


Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.


I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still 
have no satisfaction.


This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get 
BBC2.


My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus 
growing in it.

.... and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just 
can't take it anymore.

.... that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.






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