UKTC Archive

RE: Christmas caption competition

Subject: RE: Christmas caption competition
From: john gillbert
Date: Dec 17 2010 15:59:38
It’s a bit more than a caption. I got carried away:

Text book positioning of Tramp's Delight (Hobus urea).

Unfortunately the fruit is rarely allowed to fully ripen due to the
extreme, almost comical, impatience of the average alcoholic.

The lack of nutrients returned to the soil by the decomposition of the
outercasing of the unique fruit is compensated for by the waste product
of the local "urban monkeys". The tree has evolved to cope with high
ammonia levels and seems to be developing a symbiotic relationship with
the consumer of its fruit that reduces competition from less ammonia
resistant adjacent species.  However, as a result, the area surrounding
the tree becomes distinctly odiferous late in the season, hence the
tree's botanical name.

Some Local Authorities have experimented with planting the complimentary
Hobus faeces "Shishkabob" but residents usually object on health and
hygiene grounds.      

John Gillbert


-----Original Message-----
From: David Evans [] 
Sent: 17 December 2010 13:39
To: UK Tree Care
Subject: Christmas caption competition

We haven't done one of these for a while and it's that time of year.  I
some difficulty with this identification because of the unusual fruits
eventually got there with the help of Bean and Oddbins.  Anyhow, I
it would make for an interesting caption competition.  I'll stump up a
bottle of bubbles, or a cash equivalent prize going to a charity of
choice, for the winner.  Chris Hastie has kindly said he'll be take on
equivalent role of The Sauron of Karaoke - Simon Cowell - as the judge
juror but won't 'manage' the rules at the last minute to best serve his

Last orders will be at midnight of the 23rd, and the winner crowned and
toasted on Christmas Eve.


Acer ventura

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